Lips on Barrel: Bang! Make You Sin
by Querel
Summary: How do you teach your boyfriends that guns aren't toys? Let them play with your pistol, of course. Jake/John/Karkat.


Your name is Karkat and you're sleepy. You're swaddled in a tangle of sweaty bed sheets as you watch John wander about the room, naked as the day he was born (you skipped over that part of his history, but you've learned about how human birth works since then). He's still pinkish in some places and lined with red where your claws have scratched him. You managed to not break the skin this time and that should speak volumes about your self-control.

You're shaping up to be a very good lover of humans. They're so delicate. You're still trying to make up for the first time you and John had sex and you had to quickly postpone so you could wrap a tourniquet around his wrist. Needless to say, he wasn't too eager to get it up after that; you spent the rest of the evening profusely apologizing and sucking on his tongue.

"Look at all the guns."

You blink lazily as you continue watching John in his meandering about Jake's bedroom, running his fingers all over the weaponry. You sigh.

"He's gonna kill you," you grumble, rolling over to get a better handle on the comforter.

"No way," John says back. You hear the telltale rattle of gunmetal and plastic. "You think any of these are loaded?"

"I think they're _all_ loaded," you say though a haze of down. "I swear to gog, if you kill me, I'll haunt you forever. You'll be trying to jerk off to my memory one night, tears and snot gushing down your face while you're fondling yourself and all of a sudden I'll come though the wall and gently whisper the listed ingredients for Gushers into your ear until you won't be able to get it up without a mouthful of plastic ass-tasting imitation fruit gems."

You snuggle yourself deeper into the mattress and sigh. But then you realize that you're stiff in the hips so you roll over again. John is gaping at you with some serious looking pistol in his hand.

"That's the sexiest, most horrible thing anyone's ever said to me," he says. You roll your eyes, he grins.

"Check me out; I'm an assassin." John brandishes the gun purposefully, aiming at the window. "A cold, silent killer."

"Yeah, I bet you're cold," you mutter. He blushes and makes and effort to cover himself. But then realizes he doesn't care and just sticks his tongue out at you.

"Have you ever shot a gun before?" he asks.

"Nope," you say, "no interest."

"They're a lot heavier than they make it look in the movies. I wonder what you have to do to load it."

"I'm sure if you ask, Jake will tell you. Just like I'm sure if he catches you touching his guns, he'll tie you to the ceiling and watch you dangle."

"You don't have much love for my cousin, do you, Karkat?" The bed dips and you're bounced a little because of John's sudden weight next to you. You can feel his warmth through the blankets.

"Sure I do," you say, rolling your neck a bit. "I'm just more conscious of his belongings and oh, you know, how they can fucking kill you if you don't know what the fuck you're doing."

"I'm just looking!" John insists. "I haven't even touched the trigger; I'm not stupid."

"That's a matter of opinion."

"Fuck you."

"Too late."

"Then fuck you twice."

The sheets are suddenly yanked off of you and before you get the chance to holler about it, John's on top of you, pinning your hands over your head. You feel the weight of the gun against your wrists and you raise your eyebrows at John. He's grinning down at you as his skin slides against yours.

"Really?" you ask, feeling the reawakening of his erection brush against your thigh.

"Yes, really,"

"Well, isn't this a sight?"

Your heart jolts in your chest as the sudden tones of Jake English's voice that come spilling into the room. You sit up easily since John's grip loosened and barely manage to keep your head from knocking into his. Jake's standing there in the doorway, arms folded as he smiles at the both of you. He's dressed in his typical exploring fare, just come back from the rock gym, if you had to guess. New hobby of his. Which was why John figured you might take advantage of his empty bedroom that was full of Jake-scent and guns.

"Whacha got there, John?" he asks. You swallow hard. You know that look. You came back from that look once with an ass so sore you couldn't do anything but lie on your stomach for two days. Just thinking about it is making your bulge curl.

John notices. He gives you this weird glance before focusing back on Jake, who's walking towards the both of you.

"'S just one of your guns," John mumbles, holding it out for Jake. "You're not mad are you?"

"Nah," he says, taking the gun. "You were just curious, right?"

"Yeah."

You're sitting straight up now, claws digging nervously into the blankets. There's no way you're out of the fire yet. Even John knows it. You can hear it in his voice. The both of you watch intently as Jake messes with the gun. He clicks something and the magazine falls about halfway out. You still can't tell if it's loaded because he pushes it back up into the gun before you get a good look.

"But you know what I've told you about guns, right, John?" Jake scolds gently. You stare at him. He's not looking at you, but he might as well be. You feel like you're getting a contact high from watching Jake's eyees.

"They're not toys," John says obediently.

"But…I suppose…."

Your eyes widen and the world moves in slow motion. Jake wraps his arm around John's shoulders and pulls him back against his chest, pointing the gun under his chin.

"…sometimes it's fun to play with things you shouldn't. What do you think, Karkat?"

He's looking at you now. John is panicking. You're not sure what to do, but if your bulge has anything to say about it….

"Leave me out of this," you mumble, glancing offside. Jake shakes his head, his nose brushing along the nape of John's neck when he does.

"Suit yourself," he says. And even though you're not tangled up in the two of them, your heart certainly is. You don't take your eyes off them.

Because you don't want to miss a second of this. Whatever this is.

…what the fuck is happening?

Karkat: Figure it out.

Using a clever and familiar plot device, you obtain the knowledge to figure out what's going on by becoming Jake English. Jake English, who came home to find your two favorite boys naked in your bed. You had to take a moment to remember if it was Christmas. Of course, it isn't; it's barely April.

You took the rest of the moment to watch them. You had an excellent view of John waggling his naked little behind in your direction, rubbing his sweet bits up against Karkat's leg. Set you off instantly, like someone tossing a match onto gasoline. The happy heat boiled up inside of you to the very core of your heart. You love your boys. And you're going to love them again.

When you called out, they were startled, and that's when you noticed John was holding one of your Glocks. It was black as night in his pale piano fingers. They stared at you, scared. What was going to be a lovely frotting session quickly turned into a plan for something a little more interesting.

So now you've got John braced up against you, his fingers shaking as he grips your thighs and stares at Karkat, wide eyed. He's trembling. He doesn't know if the gun's loaded or not. It is. Of course it is; they all are. But he probably hasn't recalled that you have all your guns on safety lock. They won't fire. He doesn't know.

That's why this is fun.

Karkat's got eyes as wide as a cat's and you can see where his hand is itching to reach for the little curl of his bulge that has slithered out. You'd be happy enough to tend to that yourself but you're playing with John at the moment, your spontaneous, dangerous game.

So you focus your attention back on your dear cousin and wrap your lips around the tender flesh of his earlobe. You suck on it gently, trailing the muzzle of your gun down John's neck. You nudge it in circles at his nipple and he moans. You can feel the soft vibrations tickling through your skin; you slide your hand down John's front and stroke the light dusting of dark hairs under his bellybutton.

John smells a little sweaty but you like it. It's the scent of a good tussle, of youthful energy and mangrit. John embodies these things well, whether he's aware of it or not.

"Make those pretty noises for Karkat, sweet boy," you whisper to him. "You know how he likes it."

"A-ah…."

"Come on, now." With your free hand, you snag one of John's wrists and bend his arm behind his back, thrusting the Glock against his jawline. "Don't be shy."

"Jake…." When John whispers, it does something awful and amazing to you. "Jake, I'm scared."

"Oh, no, love, don't be frightened." You let the gun fall away so you can wrap your arm around his shoulders and pull him back against you and kiss along his neck. "You know I'd never hurt you."

"John," Karkat suddenly says. You open your eyes to watch him crawl towards you both. You follow the gray lines of him, down his neck, his skinny chest and narrow hips and your eyebrow flicks up unconsciously at the curl of his bright red bulge. It makes your mouth water. "I've injured you more times than Jake ever has. He might be a bit of a freak, but he'd never—"

"Karkat, save me…please…."

You blink. You watch Karkat blink. And you laugh lowly against John's shoulder. Oh…this boy's Prankster's Gambit has never reached such heights. Successfully fooled you both and managed to pull Karkat into the fun. He should be rewarded….

You raise your gun again.

"Yeah, Karkat," you say, lifting your head to stare at those wide, yellow eyes. "Be an angel for John and take the bullet for him."

Karkat sneers at you, rolling his eyes to try and overshadow the red flush on his cheeks. You trace the gun along his bottom lip and smirk back. When John moans, you both refocus; Karkat wraps his lips around the barrel. You and John both seize up with want and the sound of Karkat's fangs scraping against the gun just make your hips roll.

"Watch him," you say to John, loosening your grip on his arm. Instead, you guide his hand forward until it rests against the side of Karkat's head. John takes his other hand from your leg and reaches for Karkat until his thumbs are rubbing softly against the tips of his horns.

It's a beautiful sight, your boys. When you give John's hips another bump, you push him close enough for Karkat's bulge to wrap around his erection. Karkat's mouth falls open and he slides his tongue along your gun with a low moan and lust-sparkled eyes. You can't tell since you can't see his face but by the sound of John's panting, you bet that he wants to slip his tongue into Karkat's mouth just as much as you do.

Instead, you push the gun deeper into Karkat's mouth, watch his eyes widen and saliva drip down his chin and then wonder why the fuck you're still in your shorts.

"Hold onto this, love," you say, taking one of John's hands so he'll take the gun from you.

"Oh…." John's hand sweeps under Karkat's chin and he tilts his head back a little to let the gun slide in. Karkat's eyes clench and you can hear his breath in its short hissing bursts. Karkat wraps his arms around John's hips and fellates that gun like it's the only thing he loves.

"Gog, Karkat…," John's whispering and it makes you smile. They're cute, your boys. Which is why they're yours and no one else's. You make quick work of getting your shorts undone and give your cock room to be itself, hard and huge. There's a brief moment when you just watch them, pumping your hand around yourself a few times.

And then you get a better idea.

Jake: Build the suspense.

You decide that the best idea to do such a thing is to become John. You really doesn't understand why Karkat with a gun in his mouth is one of the sexiest things ever, but if that red bulge keeps stroking you like that, you're gonna come before long.

A bit frustrated, you pull the gun from his lips, which make a wet smack against the metal before his tongue goes chasing after it. He groans breathily, like he's been taking a long drink, and his eyes open to show how they're a little wet. You pull him in and kiss him, like you've been wanting to do. May look pretty with his tongue on something lethal, but it certainly feels better to have it in your mouth, hot and wet and wonderful.

Someone takes the gun from your hand—presumably Jake—and you run your fingers up and down Karkat's arms, feeling how smooth and warm his skin is.

"Oi."

You break the kiss and turn your head. You're met with a saliva-slicked muzzle pointed right at your nose, Jake's smirk not far behind it.

"On your back, love." He winks at you and you giggle. Sure, you'll lay down. Before you do, though, you kiss the tip of the gun, sucking a little of Karkat's spit off it before you turn completely and fall back into your troll's arms. He strokes his claws gently up and down your chest; you can hear the rumble of his purring as you sink down into Karkat's lap. Jake crawls over you and you're treated to the sweet sight of his tanned muscles and rock hard cock. Your hands go right to it without thinking, already a little sticky with precum.

Jake's making out with Karkat. You'd have to tilt your head back to see it clearly, but you can hear them both moaning and the muffled noises of their tongues making those wet, sexy sounds. Karkat's purring gets a little louder. You turn your head and kiss at Jake's wrist since it's easily in reach.

It seems it's enough to get his attention, because then you're hearing the sharp suckling sound of a kiss ending and Jake's descending to kiss you instead.

When you and Jake kiss, it's always kinda sloppy. Your teeth are just so obtrusive that you have to come at each other in fun angles to try and get a good mack on. But it's fine. He nips at your bottom lip and you giggle. And then you laugh again because you realize the first reddish drips of genetic material are leaking down Karkat's legs and then down your own neck. It tickles.

Jake pulls away and then hooks his hands under your knees. You're pulled off Karkat's lap completely (you might've given a startled yelp that made them both laugh at you, but you're not thinking about it too much).

Jake sits back on his heels and looks down at you. Karkat is still touching you wherever he can, making the bed rock a little with his strokes up and down your body. It feels good. You close your eyes for a moment and just let yourself get lost in the sensations.

Next thing you feel is Jake's gun on your sternum. You take in a shaky breath and keep your eyes closed, tracing the line the barrel follows in your own mind. It goes down your chest and nudges against your bellybutton before continuing. When you feel the cooler metal brush against your dick, you gasp, your back arching a little. But Jake doesn't take it away. You hear Karkat curse under his breath just as Jake teases the muzzle of his pistol up and down your length, from the head all the way to your balls. Your hands lift and you clench them in your hair, biting down hard on your lip.

"Feels good?" Jake asks. And as you're whimpering out your agreement, that gun goes lower and you feel it push against your hole just a little.

If you thought that thing would go off, this would be the exact opposite of sexy. But it won't. You know it won't. So you're moaning. Karkat's claws dig into you a little and the sting leaves you gasping.

"Please," you say, "no more…no more teasing."

"Think we should be nice?" Jake asks.

You hear Karkat breathing, still rumbly and cat-like.

"The real question is does he want to be treated nicely," Karkat murmurs. Your eyes flash open and you stare up at him. Jake's hand strokes the inside of your thigh. The gun falls away.

Jake beckons Karkat near and shamelessly, Karkat climbs right over you until he's straddling your chest. You're wondering…so you watch as Jake's hand goes between Karkat's legs and pushes up inside his nook. Karkat's thighs tremble and he grabs your hips to hold himself up. It's quite a sight. Red drips out around Jake's hand and splatters hot onto your abs. Karkat's hips roll slowly to the rhythm that Jake pushes his fingers up. You know he's looking for that spot inside Karkat, the one that makes him gush just by nudging it.

Well, he finds it.

Karkat cries out and you watch the muscles in his cute little ass clench right when there's a sloppy splash of genetic material on you. You're so cool with being Karkat's bucket, you're thinking as you reach to rub your hands over Karkat's rear, thumbs stroking along the wet folds of his nook. You might've always pictured yourself a very vanilla guy when it comes to sex, but after sharing a bed with these two, you've begun to see streak in your libido that gets you hard up for things like having a gun pushed against your asshole and troll jizz smeared all over you.

"John," you hear Jake say, "be a good lad and take care of our grey baby here."

"Mmhmm…." You wrap your hands around Karkat's hips and tug him back until you can just tilt your head up and suck at that sensitive juncture where his bulge pushes out from the top of his nook. Karkat pitches forward when your tongue makes contact and before long, you feel the head-spinning sensation of a hot tongue at the head of your dick and then the press of thick, wet fingers into you.

You think you're about to lose your mind.

John: Try to get your bearings.

You're lacking the ability to retain complete control of your situation so you end up being Karkat, who's about halfway between heaven and earth.

The feeling of John's tongue on your nook and bulge is enough to make you want to scream, but you're focusing that energy on returning the favor. At the same time, you're watching Jake's fingers, the ones that were just inside of you, slicking up John's hole to get him ready. Your heart is hammering madly in your chest; you feel like it's going to burst out of you at any moment.

There's a sudden weight on your head. It's Jake's other hand, curling his fingers through your hair and nudging your horns every now and then. You don't look up at him since you're quite focused on running your tongue under the head of John's cock like you know makes him crazy; you do, however, let out a sigh and relish the feeling.

Truth is that you never felt loved until you fell into the arms of these two. They lavish saccharine and strange affections onto you more than you really know how to handle.

"Oh…gog!"

You're _very_ distracted when John suddenly decides to swallow you to the hilt. Your fingers dig into his spread thighs and then Jake takes the initiative to push that great, throbbing cock of his into John. John moans. The vibrations around your bulge make your eyes roll back into your skull.

Jake doesn't take it slow. With each of his thrusts, John's erection taps against your lips, so you make an effort to keep it still, stroking your tongue along his length.

"Mmh-mmh…you're both amazing." That's Jake: always one to let you know how sexy you are. It works. You feel sexy. Makes you a little more daring. You always have to be careful when putting your mouth on delicate places. So you take care to cover your fangs with your lips and dip your head a little deeper, trying to take more of John into your mouth.

You feel John tremble under you, and you're left cold when he pulls your bulge from his mouth.

"Guys, I'm gonna—!"

"Do it, John," Jake encourages. "Come in Karkat's mouth."

Yes, please do….

John jolts his hips upwards and your mouth is filled with the hot salty flavors of his cum. You flinch a little, but do your best to suck every last drop from him. You don't swallow. Not yet. Instead, you release John's flagging erection from your lips and glance up at Jake, just on the edge of losing it.

"Show me, love," he murmurs.

You open your mouth and bring your fingers to your cum-covered tongue. You have no idea why Jake thinks that this is sexy. You've see your afterglow face. All sweaty and splotchy, maybe cum-smeared and saliva-spackled. But Jake loves it, for whatever reason. You watch as his pupils dilate and that satisfied grin spreads over his lips.

"Yessss…good boy…."

"Dammit, Jake!" John cries from behind you.

"Feeling neglected?" Jake's hand smacks against John's ass; John squeaks, you groan. You figure Jake's done with his cumslut kink now that he's rigorously pounding John's ass (much to John's delight, if his moaning is any indicator) so you climb to the other side of the bed and swallow your mouthful. Ugh. Nasty stuff….

You watch the two of them as Jake finally comes inside of John, his glasses all steamed up. They're precious, all breathless and pinkish from sex. You just sit back and twirl your fingers around your bulge, watching as they come down from their high. John smiles up at Jake with his mouth smeared with tell-tale red mess and Jake smiles back, leaning over to kiss him.

"I love you."

"Love you too, cheeky boy."

They look at you. You blink and shrug a little, not really knowing what to say.

"Aw, Karkat, you didn't get off," John mourns. He scrambles out from under Jake and goes right to you.

"Dunkass, you got me off earlier, remember?" You fling your hands towards the bucket tucked in the corner. "I can't build up that amount of genetic material twice in one day; are you fucking nuts?"

Jake crawls over and gathers you up in his arms, holding you tight against his chest as you face John and his adorkable smile. With no more words to say, John leans in and kisses you, still sticky around his cheeks. Before you can snap at him about how unappetizing it is to make out with someone who's been sucking on your parts, Jakes fingers sneak down to your bulge and nook and begin massaging slowly.

You gasp and John's tongue slides into your mouth. You're so warm…surrounded on all sides by flesh and gentle breaths, sweet touches and heartbeats. You're purring again, loudly. You think it's embarrassing, but John's making those happy noises into your mouth and Jake whispers affirmations into your ear.

"Good boy…good boy…."

John pulls his tongue from your mouth and murmurs against your lips.

"We love you, Karkat."

"More than anything," Jake agrees.

Your heart bursts inside of you. It's hot and drenches your insides with warmth. You bite down on your lip and keen; John goes for your neck and sucks on it gently while Jake pushes his fingers deep into you. Your bulge curls around his wrist and without your input, your hips are rocking back and forth.

You're lost before you know it, stars exploding behind your eyelids; you're not even aware of the sounds you're making with your head thrown back against Jake's shoulder.

They're kissing you. Over and over. Everywhere they can reach. You feel smothered and crowded but the nice thing is that it's perfect. You've never felt happier.

Everyone's wet and sticky and incoherent and you're feeling wonderfully released.

Your name is Karkat and you're sleepy. You're tangled in a happy mass of human boys and you're starting to think that maybe John should play with Jake's guns more often.


End file.
